were on the water all day today.. .. fun
i got my left hand into something yesterday
so its sore and a little bit swollen on top
feels sorta like nettle does
it stung on contact
its just slightly sensitive flesh today 
is all thats left for me to type just cryptic stuff?
is it just that ryan is good at his phrasin of things
so he keeps at it and doesnt have to delete posts?
ive stepped in it so many times
ive lost count
i still have all my freedoms to be open and real in my non online life
but i miss it being real online too
i miss being able to talk freely
it feels stupid to have a blog and have to watch every word
i just wanna go home
get on with all the beta stuff
just push on into the decision ive made
which can only be for the best
my world is on that stretch of property in england
sure.. .. yeah its confinement.. .. but in the space of about 18 months
ive been conditioned to feel thats my world
thats my safe place
thats the only place i can trust and be trusted
the stuff with the clone only reinforced what i already felt
i just didnt know it yet
i wasnt aware of it
i cant be anywhere else
MsVs residence is the only place that im safe and loved
right now i cant even imagine feelin comfortable in miami
and i grew up there
what a neat little box huh?
it doesnt matter cause its done now
ill go on and do and be and become more and grow
ill be the boy She wants
and ill be content and happy and willing
im not sorry
its a good decision
my eyes are open and i see more than i ever have before
yieldin to this dominant woman is the right thing
i know She loves me and wants to mold me into someone important
Shes been patient with me
my adoptive brother has been too
theyve loved me
and they will keep lovin me
im sure of it
sorry if this is nonsense to ne who reads it
it makes alota sense to me

michael